Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
