you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
