you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
