...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
