We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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