Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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