Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
