so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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