I CAN MOONWALK!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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