My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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