even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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