how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
