im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
