It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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