I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
