Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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