And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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