Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You did what with his pubic hair?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
