Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize