I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What drink are we having for lunch?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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