just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
