Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
