woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
