Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
