My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
