OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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