I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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