So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
