How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize