You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize
