would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
