Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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