just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
