I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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