It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
