you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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