some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
