She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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