wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
