Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
