i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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