wrigley field is MILF paradise
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
They have beer where we have blood.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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