We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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