walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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