I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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