im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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