i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
