They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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