Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize