so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This baby is an asshole
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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