grandma shit on top of the toilet
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
