Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
