seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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