she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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