I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
