you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize