sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
