Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
