sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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