Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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