Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
COCAINE IS GR8
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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